Boring Author Interviews Revisited…
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What’s so great about your crap book? (Don’t want the boring details, a couple of lines is suffice!)
A serial killer free to do as he pleases in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. No boring morality, just fun… for him at least.
What do you really think about erotica?
I don’t really read it.
Bet you’re one of those secret readers who hides an erotica title inside a literary novel.
Is it the low of the lows for writers?
I think it is a genre that sells and sells well. It’s no different than any other genre.
If you didn’t have your book professionally edited: What made you think you’re so perfect that you didn’t need to pay a professional?
I had my mother edit it since she at least is university educated and will do it for free.
Oh-oh, mums are biased. At least, mine is, and loves everything I do.
Yawn, so basically you’re the same as all the rest of the authors on Amazon and you’re the Next Best Thing. I don’t think so. Come on, tell me why should I spend time reading YOUR book over more well-received authors?
Well because I slaved over that book darn it! Or perhaps because it is a little bit different from the rest. Serial Killer in an apocalypse, what’s not to love?
I must admit, it does sound interesting.
Is there an author who inspires (perspires) you?
No one in particular.
Do you think you write better than them?
Nope I am still learning and happy to improve.
Is your aim to out-sell them?
You’re too nice. You should wanna out-sell every damn writer out there!
In the writing world, have you ever regretted anything i.e written your own review (or written a bad review on a competitor’s novel), argued on-line, copied someone else’s idea?
No, I have enough of my own ideas to keep me going for years. I don’t see the point of writing my own review and I would avoid reviewing competitors work because… well they are competitors so it wouldn’t be unbiased.
What qualifications do you have for writing in your genre?
Nope, nothing more than a love or stories.
Emotions of the heart–maybe the best qualification of all!
If I were to read your book would I have to scroll through lots of acknowledgements saying how wonderful your book is before I got to the meat of a story?
No. Straight into the story and the book ends the same way… am I supposed to acknowledge someone?
Your poor mum who has to edit your frigging book for free! Sheesh!
What part of the world do you come from?
Where all the best writers come from…
Why that shitty title?
I felt it was appropriate for a book about zombies.
Not very original though, is it?
Did you run out of ideas?
Nope, still plenty of those.
Just, unfortunately, shitty ones.
How long did it take you to complete your book (from idea to publication)?
Somewhere short of three months and a stupendous amount of hours.
If it took under a year to write: It didn’t take you long to write so does that mean it is poorly researched, edited and written on a whim?
Not at all. My first work is 40k words long. With my average wpm typing skills and the number of hours I spent working on it, I should have had approx 400k words or more so a great deal of my time was spent trying to make it accurate and as error free as possible.
Do you have any bad habits, or stupid rituals you HAVE to do in order to write?
I have to be fairly distraction free. Usually sat alone with my computer, cup of coffee, maps, reference documents, character sheets open on one half of my monitor and my main doc open on the other. Some classical music or even the three hour recording of thunderstorms playing. Anything other than that and I will struggle.
Hang on, three-hour recording of thunderstorms? Now, I wonder where people outside of Blighty get the impression that England is full of eccentrics?
Authors are usually labelled as ‘dreamers’ and ‘loners’. Have you been labelled as such? And what implications do you think that has on a writer?
Yes I have often been labelled a dreamer and I am a loner by nature. The implication for me is that I struggle with dialogue and character interaction. Perhaps that is reflected in the main character of my work.
Does ‘being a writer’ make you feel like an outsider with normal, everyday people such as your family and friends?
I have found that it is harder now. I want to talk about writing, about my newest work or reviews. I want to dissect parts of the story and I fear that I am boring the hell out of them.
I get where you’re coming from. Just as well there are lots of writing forums around where we can take it in turns to bore one another.
Describe your perfect death (in case I have to kill you)?
Standing on the Earth as the sun explodes and engulfs the world… likely in a billion or so years from now. I am happy to wait.
Thank you Richard. Now go and buy your mother some flowers, tight git.