To all editors out there–you’re bloody AMAZING!

I
got into trouble on Amazon recently. I joined a group of writers with the aim
to write a collection of shorts for a novel. I was designated ‘gatekeeper’
(knocking back the bad, and allowing the good to pass through). The stories
were interesting, that’s just keep it at that. But I couldn’t say no to anyone!
The passion, the heat, love and tears had gone into those stories and so I
decided to edit them, every last one.

And some of you may
know, I take it VERY seriously. I’m anal about commas, apostrophes and all
things punctuation–as one should be in writing. I’m sharp on POV,
dialogue and tightening up.

The only thing I’m
not too hot on is grammar and spelling (why I hire editors for my own work, and
probably why the odd error is found on this blog).

Anyway, I settled
down to edit the entries often staying up late to get finished (there was a
deadline), and I think I forgot that these stories weren’t mine. I highlighted
every little POV slip, put an exclamation against any errant comma, made
comments against over-wordiness then basically rewrote the entire thing!

Did
I say I was anal about editing?

It
didn’t go down well with the authors. Where’s my voice, they cried.

Er,
I wrote it out, said I. Want it back?

Well,
duh, yeah.

I
unedited, and they were happy.

My
point, apart from discovering how anal I was about editing, is that the next
time you see your editor give them a big sloppy kiss.

They
deserve it!

Come
here, John! MuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaahhHHHH !

Your right to reply…

Is your ms missing that, er, pear tree?

by

John Hudspith

On the first day of writing my true muse sent to me

– a partridge but NO
pear tree

  

On the second day of writing my true muse sent to me

– two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the third day of writing my true muse sent to me

– three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the fourth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the fifth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– five go-lden clichés-

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the sixth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the seventh day of writing my true muse sent to me

– seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the eighth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– eight aunts a-milking it,

seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the ninth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– nine adjectives dancing,

eight aunts a-milking it,

seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the tenth day of writing my true muse sent to me

– ten wrong words a-leaping (from the page),

nine adjectives dancing,

eight aunts a-milking it,

seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the eleventh day of writing my true muse sent to me

– eleven readers griping,

ten wrong words a-leaping (from the page),

nine adjectives dancing,

eight aunts a-milking it,

seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

On the twelfth day of writing my true muse sent to me

twelve blasted rewrites,

eleven readers griping,

ten wrong words a-leaping (from the page),

nine adjectives dancing,

eight aunts a-milking it,

seven sentences a-swimming (with distressingly unnecessary
over-writing),

six characters a-waffling,

– five go-lden clichés –

four bad reviews,

three gaping plot holes,

two purple loves,

and a partridge but NO
pear tree

~}~

Amazon.UK Amazon.com

Is your pear tree missing?  

It’s that time of year again, the time when too many writers hurl their latest at the eBook shelves in time for Christmas sales but without pausing to think about quality. 

Continuity errors, over-writing, plot holes, unbelievable characters, purple prose, all add up to a poor standard of storytelling, and so many such books are being let go into the world of readers without so much as a second glance. 

Employing an editor is akin to asking a fellow craftsman to       help you with your work. 

A good editor will find and fill holes in plot, character and continuity, fine-tune dialogue and narrative, suggest word improvements to aid rhythm and voice and ensure that pace, flow and resulting tension is used to best effect as well as erasing typos, grammar and punctuation problems. 

But which editor? As in all trades there are shameless cowboys waiting to pulverise your purse in exchange for faulty goods and shoddy workmanship as well as the good guys. But how to find the good guys? 

Amazon.UK Amazon.com

My advice is to judge by quality and connection. Begin by choosing three or four editors who appeal to you. And by appeal I mean how they present and promote themselves and what level of testimonials they have. 

And most importantly: make sure they offer a free appraisal along with some free sample edits. Send them the info they require to create said appraisal and free editorial sample. 

A worthy editor will connect with story, voice, style, genre perceptions and conventions and supply sample edits that will bring improvements to your work and blow your socks into the pear tree. 

You will know. 

You will feel the connection. 

Treat yourself to a Christmas present and hire John Hudspith as your editor. Still not sure? Get a free appraisal first! Click here!

John Hudspith editor and author of the Kimi books

In the northernmost spire of his black-brick chateau, John Hudspith edits novels by day and scrawls scary stories by night. Kimi’s Secret won a highly coveted youwriteon book of the year award and has had huge acclaim in every room in John’s home.

John Hudspith is author of the Kimi books and editor of fiction.

 Contacts

 John Hudspith Blog     John Hudspith Editor

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